When the fateful day came for me to collect what I hoped would be a 147kw VW Scirocco, all I was thinking was “please let it be a DSG auto” because I pulled my calf muscle and really wasn’t in the mood for a clutch. I almost died when I realised the candy white VW Scirocco R parked in the corner was waiting for me. I was confused because this was no ordinary Scirocco, this was something special, and something crazy, something I was horribly unprepared for.

The Scirocco R has the belt driven EA113 engine found in the Golf V GTI, but modified to produce 188kw. Also exactly the same engine can be found in the current Audi S3 and Golf R, but without the four wheel drive system those two are blessed with. The only other car I’ve driven that gave me as many gossebumps is the Subaru Impreza WRX and that makes 195kw and has AWD also and this is why I need to admit that the handling might be better and safer with AWD, but two wheel drive is lots more fun! It only weighs 130kg less than the Golf R, but it makes a huge difference to the car’s dynamics as lighter and wider is always better.

I also got the DSG auto, but I completely forgot about my calf muscle the moment I got into the car anyway. This model costs R418 000 which is about the same as an Audi S3 or Golf R, but you don’t get their AWD systems and you probably think that sounds like a rip off, but then you realise the Scirocco looks so much better than those two and its more fun to drive because its lighter and more engaging.  In the past this much power through the wheels that need to not only drive but also steer a car would have been suicide, but today’s new electronically controlled front differentials like the Scirocco’s XDS system is very capable at coping with all the torque and practically renders AWD systems for the sake of control obsolete. Where the Subaru was surefooted, horribly fast and always on point, the Scirocco is a little crazy, just as fast, but more nimble, more manoeuvrable, less serious and more engaging to drive because I had to concentrate all the time and that’s what makes a car like this so much fun. Every drive is an event, every fast corner you see approaching excites you and you find yourself giggling every time you get out.

The 19-inch Talladega alloys fill the arches beautifully and the gloss black grill, air intakes, wing mirrors and diffuser at the back contrasted beautifully with the candy white paint job on my test unit. Very sinister, very Star Wars slash 1980’s pornography.  The smoked tail lights round the rear off beautifull and the oval tail pipes just clinch the deal for me. The interior is civil by comparison, but the level of fit, finish and quality more than makes up for this. I had the lovely heated leather sport seats and touch screen infotainment unit with six disc in dash shuttle and black roof lining, all very Batman and easy to use. Zero to 100km/h happens in six seconds and the occasional passenger screamed at this. I never even tested the 250km/h top speed because I’m scared of the VW lady who gave me the car, but I’m sure it will get there quite easily. It draws more attention than Julius Malema’s expense account and made me remember why I love driving.