Slowly but surely the eccentric Swedes have restyled and repackaged their inoffensive yet quietly brilliant vehicles until the inevitable happened. They caught up. If Volvo’s quiet confidence in the appeal of its saloons is anything to go by, the newest S80 should not only continue that understated style and sophistication theme, it should spearhead it.

Five pots of the syrupy stuff
We expressly head-hunted the diesel derivative as it impressed us the most when sampling the range earlier this month. You see the diesel segment is a bit like Sinatra’s New York, New York – ‘If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere’. We refer to the critical new zone of environmental responsibility, previously known as green guilt. Still, the new 2.4-litre D5 is not exactly an engine debut. The last S80 had a five-cylinder diesel lump too, but it was noisy and had reached the end of its development line. The new high-pressure common-rail twin-turbo one, developed in-house by Volvo, sees a healthy boost in power (total output of 151kW and 420Nm certainly helps its appeal) and in refinement. Yet it boasts a tiny carbon footprint of just 164g/km, plus comes across all frugal thanks to its combined cycle of 6.2ℓ/100km. At idle with the windows down you’ll hear that telltale clatter, but spool up the lump to a modest 2000rpm and it smoothes out completely. Roll the window up and thanks in part to improved NVH (Noise, Vibration and Harshness) levels the cabin falls completely silent. Take it even higher up the rev range and the fiver emits sounds like the throaty gurgle from a rampaging tiger. It’s a diesel, so it’s hugely tractable all the way to the paltry 4500rpm redline. Steam train acceleration awaits should you need to frighten that punk next to you in his GTI with 0-100kph dispatched in just 7.6 seconds. Which means it’s sort of like an Opel Superboss yet seats five comfortably, with electric-operated seat controls, Bluetooth and MP3 compatibility, cruise control and countless more cosseting features on board. Even the automatic transmission is tough to fault, feeling perfectly complementary to the motor at all times, whether navigating the winding wine routes or dabbing the pedals through stop-start city traffic. I haven’t been this energised in a diesel since last year’s BMW 520d – and this just about trumps it. I even find myself revving it up just to hear that diesel induction growl! 

The steering feel is customisable too from light to heavy depending on the kind of driving you enjoy, each with specific appeal. Front-wheel drive is the default (the top of range 3.0T gets AWD) and feels instantly familiar, with handling dynamics most easily compared to a large Audi. Except in this case the sign of expressed fury sits on the grille (the Volvo pointed arrow trademark is the symbol for iron) and won’t be directed at the occupant of the driver’s seat. Which is why you can get away with murder in a Volvo – you see, they’re for nice people.