WILL YOU LOT please stop buying my baguettes? Seriously, twice during this year I’ve gotten a call from the friendly folks at Citroën saying, ‘Oh, about that C5 we lent you, we’ve accidentally sold it so… cheers!’ Oh dear, have I done too good a job selling you lot my C5 experience? Let’s see what we can glean from my final wrap-up.

EXTERIOR
While its many ornate details have been bolted on correctly and nothing has fallen off, the C5 is still very much a love-it-or-hate-it design. Personally I love it, I’ve been a fan ever since I saw a silver example roll into a rainy parking lot two years ago. It’s muscular yet elegant, pumped up but pared away in the right places and in black retains that old school gangster element that’s now fading from modern BMW saloons. It’s not everyone’s cup of coffee, which brings me neatly to the interior.

INTERIOR
The bane of my existence with both cars has been an almost total lack of cup holders! Seriously, at this price and with this much kit on board, why is there no plastic hoop to hug my java? I say almost because if you look in the armrest you’ll find just such a stowaway ring, but it really is perfectly useless. Elsewhere it’s Starship Enterprise spec: cruise control, Bluetooth, USB and Aux inputs and cellphone syncing to a lavish sound system as a start. Leather abounds and in the comfy driver pew (electronically adjustable and heated, as is the front passenger’s) you even have an electronic masseuse. Ergonomics felt quirky initially but feel second nature now, and that fixed steering boss at the centre of a twirling rim remains the car’s retro party trick harking back to Citroëns of the past. The dash is a drab chock of plastic and lets down the cabin’s posh levels somewhat . The Germans do this bit rather better. Fit and finish is okay – good in places, not so lekker in others, most notably the door pulls which creak and squeak in protest when grabbed. Overall the premium feel is just short of the Teutons.

PERFORMANCE AND HANDLING
Both my C5s have been the 2.0 HDI turbodiesel model with conventional suspension (double wishbone front, multilink rear) and front-wheel drive versus the 3.0 HDI’s adaptive air suspension and all-wheel drive. A 1.6THP turbo petrol C5 is now also in the line-up. The 2.0 HDI puts out a boosted 120kW and 340Nm, accessed via a smooth six-speed auto. The drivetrain lacks the resolve and refinement of a similar Audi and the car is nowhere near as pointy, offering master class wafting instead, thanks to unhurried power delivery and a cushioned ride that irons out corrugated dirt and gravel and covers good Tarmac as though it were polished glass. The downside? Look for your adrenaline fix elsewhere. My fuel economy matched the Citroën brochure with a frugal 6.8ℓ/100km, and that included a recent across-country jaunt to Pretoria and back – exactly the kind of travelling the C5 was built for.