THE HOT CHOCOLATE gulped down at the Engen 1-Stop is now just a distant memory as the bitter cold creeps into the cabin of the Mini Cooper S. Ahead of me loom the N1 tollgate’s booms, and beyond that the Huguenot Tunnel. I’m playing chase with the Mini’s fiercest foes yet: Alfa’s Mito Quadrifoglio and Citroën’s new DS3 THP, each scything their way through traffic. None in this trio is a middling hatch; each oozes an indisputable Euro cool, each qualifies to be the premium darling in the junior academy. But we’re going to get even cooler to find a victor.

IMAGE GALLERY

‘Looks like it’s going to rain,’ mouths snapper Peet from the seat next to me. I more or less make out what he’s saying despite the fact that we’re being rudely buffeted by icy winter wind thanks to an open sunroof. He’ll be standing up through that just now. Grey and drizzly, the weather is quickly dampening our mood. Then total darkness, quickly followed by yellow light as the cars are bathed in the overhead lamps of the 3.9km-long tunnel. None of us are above man’s natural instinct to hoof it in these acoustically enhanced surroundings. ‘Whoop! Tss! Baark!’ Aah! It’s music to our ears as three turboed four-pots conduct a crackling, hissing mechanical symphony in the Huguenot’s chambers. Even with a 90kph speed limit, the road offers up some entertaining jinks as we traverse its 22-year-old surface bumper to bumper. Fun, sure, but nothing prepares us for the scene as we explode into the light once more. SNOW! Light, fluffy and everywhere. White dusted mountain ranges flanking the highway, surreal to our summer mindsets, are a signal to bring our tiny convoy to a halt.

HEY GOOD LOOKING

Stopping firmly comes naturally to these performers, but it’s not an easy thing to do when they offer up such thrills on the move. It’s a chance though to take in the visual treats these sporting European fashion accessories have to offer. They’re all cast in a deliciously different mould: the Mini a throwback pastiche of the 1950s icon, the Mito a slippery Italian blend of muscle and stance, the DS3 a futuristic concoction that does an un-retro about face, yet still parallels the Mini’s formula. They even share an engine.

The DS3 is resplendent in yellow, with a blackened zebra-themed roof, attention-grabbing white 17inch alloy hoops, and bold chrome blade along its flanks. It fights hard for attention, with the shark-fin C-pillar treatment stealing the show and leaving no doubt that Citroën has regained its design mojo. Our test unit is perhaps not specced in the best colour combination from the extensive Citroën palette, but the result is striking and immediately ages the ‘familiar’ Mini.

The Alfa too gives the Mini a drubbing in terms of fresh aesthetics. Despite the cutesy surprised expression on its face, it’s the more macho car here, due in large part to those severely pumped arches housing anthracite alloy wheels. The anthracite treatment extends